Learning and Growing from Anger and Resentment

As we mature emotionally and spiritually, we learn to recognize and understand our emotions, yet understanding anger can be difficult. Anger is a normal human emotion, but many people find it challenging to deal with. It’s not something all parents model well, let alone teach us to understand anger or how to express it assertively. Consequently, we may not know how to move through these powerful emotions or stay open and present with others when they are angry.

One popular strategy we acquire is to suppress and avoid uncomfortable emotions. Suppression and avoidance can perpetuate inner turmoil until we become overwhelmed, bitter, and resentful. Another strategy channels unresolved anger into aggression and violence, which never ends well. Whatever our strategy, living with unresolved resentment and anger can consume our life force and negatively affect our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

The following essences can help us learn and grow from our anger and resentment while freeing ourselves from its constraints. They can take us into quiet, inner spaces to question the evidence supporting our anger and consider different perspectives that better meet our needs. Staying present with our anger, we can intentionally break through layers of armoring, enter into the pain we are avoiding, and discover what lies beneath the feelings. These essences help us feel safe with powerful emotions so we can focus on what serves us best—releasing resentment and embracing forgiveness. These essences also help us recognize when our buttons get pushed so we can make different choices, and when anger seeks to divide us, they support a path to connection—clear and heart-centered communication.

Mountain Wormwood - releasing resentment towards self and others.
Mountain Wormwood flower essence helps those carrying deep disappointment and grudges. Perhaps a friend betrayed us, a partner left us suddenly, or disagreements erupted among siblings after the parents were gone. Holding onto resentment requires a lot of energy. We waste even more energy when we attempt to justify our pain by pushing against the situation that created it or by trying to prove ourselves right and another wrong. Mountain Wormwood helps us become aware when defending ourselves or holding energy against someone. It allows us to identify the thoughts that keep us engaged in an us-versus-them dynamic. It provides the gifts of forgiveness and resolution to release the ‘worms of discontent,’ clear out resentments, and allow our judgments to dissolve. When this happens, we can reclaim all that energy for ourselves.

Blue Elf Viola - understanding and releasing anger through the heart.
Blue Elf Viola is essential for expressing strong emotions, primarily anger. When unable to express anger in a clear and nonviolent way, we may have difficulty resolving conflicts and unintentionally hurt the people we care about. It takes a lot of our vital energy to keep anger bottled up. Still, it can be difficult to release if we have isolated ourselves for protection or to avoid confronting emotions that arise with others. The calming vibration of these cheerful Blue Elf Viola flowers supports the process of understanding and releasing deeply held anger and frustration. This essence utilizes the heart's energy to help us understand the core issues at the root of our emotions so we can positively express ourselves and forgive those responsible, including ourselves. Blue Elf Viola empowers us to create a new foundation of emotional honesty that is clear, open, and always supported by the heart.

Bloodstone - releasing emotional tension and promoting grounding.
Bloodstone gem elixir is an excellent remedy for those with unresolved emotions who tend to express emotional negativity or are prone to outbursts of anger and rage. It also helps when we have a pattern of avoiding uncomfortable emotions, relying too heavily on our mental process. Bloodstone opens and harmonizes the connection between the heart chakra and the Earth by clearing and releasing emotional blockages in the lower chakras. Clearing away this dense energy opens the energetic pathway between the heart and the Earth. With improved energy flow, sticky emotions get washed away as earth energy flows through what was once blocked, and divine healing energy returns to our body.

Sweetgale – improving emotional interactions and communication in relationships.
The essence of Sweetgale is essential when emotional communication with others is defensive, lacking clarity, and characterized by conflict, guilt, and the assignment of blame, especially when our reactive ‘buttons’ get pushed. This plant manifests healing energy through the unique relationship between its male and female catkins that occur on different plants, communicating with each other through a vibrational link. Similarly, Sweetgale flower essence strengthens our ability to relate to others on a feeling level. Its stimulating and vibrant energy penetrates our emotional energy centers to help us confront old layers of pain and negativity affecting the quality of our emotional interactions. Once we identify these feelings, we can begin to understand and complete the lessons connected with them, allowing any corresponding energy blockages to be released. Sweetgale also helps us reclaim our emotional space after an argument or upset and restores calm and strength to our emotional centers to respond directly and appropriately to one another regardless of the situation.

Tiger's Eye - maintaining a strong sense of self when relating to powerful emotions.
Are you comfortable interacting with people who express anger? For those who are highly sensitive or have an undeveloped or ungrounded sense of self, it is easy to take on the emotional energy of others. Tiger's Eye helps by strengthening the energetic boundary between our emotional experiences and true nature, reinforcing the inner aspects of self-knowing by grounding how we perceive ourselves. With a strong and protected sense of identity, the intense emotions of others can't sweep us away. This essence also helps us maintain the strong sense of self-identity we require when facing uncomfortable emotions within ourselves.

Twinflower – promoting presence and neutrality in crucial conversations.
Twinflower is an excellent essence for anyone who tends to be reactive, impatient, or defensive in crucial conversations. When communicating with others about things that make us upset or angry, staying present enough to hear and understand what someone is saying can be challenging. If we are agitated or distracted, we aren't available to receive their words or understand what they need us to hear. And, if they choose words meant to elicit an emotional response from us, it can be difficult to stay neutral and not react. Twinflower essence encourages us to be present and calm within crucial conversations to hear the message, not just the words, a requirement to speak and be heard by others. It also helps us choose words with focused intent and project them with clarity to help others hear and understand the essence of what we have to say. Twinflower's support encourages the creation of heart-centered objectivity so we can maintain neutrality even when receiving emotionally charged words from another person.